The Dreaded Padded Seat

I must ask why do all women feel this unnerving need to buy and use padded toilets seats?

Are you planning on camping out there?

Trying to avoid a chafing your ass?

Have and abnormal obsession with foam covered vinyl?

For any guy that has ever had the wonderful experience of using on of these I present:

Why plastic padded toilet seats suck

#1. They are just uncomfortable give me hard plastic over vinyl any day

#2. They make your ass sweat

#3. They stay warmer longer after use (nothing worse than a warm toilets seat)

#4. The crack is always right there trying to gobble your shobble (which always makes you think how many other shobbles have been gobbled here where your shobble is currently being gobbled..say that three times fast)

#5. Feels smaller, Its like I am trying to crap through a washer, a 5/16 washer.

#6. With one of these you can't take a relaxing piss. Why you ask, because these things are worse than an attack dog the moment you let your guard down, it pounces, and falls closed. If you were lucky its only the seat and not the lid.
Needing a visual?
Imagine a cow peeing on a flat rock.



Oh one last though, that blast of cold air you feel every time you set down on it was sucked in when the last person stood up.


-Mr.WAM

-Thanks to M&J

This is Pure Genius

Lonely?

3rd Grade Knowledge

Reading Between the Lines

As I sat here browsing the personal ads on craigslist. The thought occurred to me of profiling the people that were making the listings and reading between the lines.

For example :

The little cutie that list no games, drama, and is already putting sexual limits on the online personal listing.....RUN. You haven't even met this chick yet and she is already laying the ground work to control you.

These girls are able to list all of those negative traits because they are programed to look for them. They constantly focus on the negative things in life and tend to have a bad self image.

Think about baseball, if someone didn't set you down and show you how to play then you would never know the game or the rules of the game. The ladies that list all of this stuff know the game and they know all the rules. What game you might ask it goes by many names, nagging, drama queen, general bitch, advanced mind control and just plain whipped.

The fact is she has a broader knowledge of the games that you ever will. How is this possible you might ask. Its quite simple she builds the game as she goes, therefore you cannot win.

Unless you refuse to play, and even that can get you into trouble.

Trust me find a woman who wakes up everyday focused on the positive things in life. Find someone who can make you laugh, and does not give a flying flip about what is on the cover of Cosmo.

Divorce and Women

Read this until your eyes melt.
This picture is full of satire but it also speaks volume of truth.

She Divorced because she was BORED!

No abuse, infidelity, or horrible living conditions
She simply filed a false claim of abuse against you.
Something that you will play hell trying to rectify later.

Just remember the court system will rule in the favor of the woman the majority of the time.

Publish Post

Truthful Financial Planning

Remember Guys it only takes wax and elbow grease to keep a car happy.