I never thought.....

that I would hear someone complaining about having a threesome.

Evidently, threesomes are only fun and enjoyable once in a blue moon, and like everything they can get old after a while. 

Who Knew?

Random Thought:

Is it better to be physically hung like a Moose, or have your lover believe you are.

Bitches Are Fun

Well pull up a chair and listen as I spin the latest tale of woe. I've named this tale Bitches Are Fun.

We have a fairly tight group of friends in my neighborhood. Throughout the week, you can find us gathering at different homes for dinner parties, birthdays, and poker tournaments. In this group of friends there are plumbers, contractors, beauticians and Jakie. Jakie is the Old Queen Bee, she is master of making the snide comment and generally just a bitch.

I've learned the best way to handle Jakie is to control the conversation. Just keep it on topics you want to talk about and only ask direct questions that require a yes/no answer. Much like aggressive dogs you got to keep bitches on a short leash also.

The invite arrives for the forth cookout and fireworks and it happens to be at Jakie's house. I decide to invite Tatiana, little latin spice. As the cookout gets going I her Jakie's mouth a running nonstop. Evidently, Tatiana is soaking all up and becoming furious. Little Miss Latina is just brewing so she makes a scene blows her latin load and storms off.

Lesson Time: Listen up Ladies. You really need to stop getting into pissing contest of who can be the biggest bitch. You can't fight bitcheness with more bitcheness, it just creates more bitcheness. Just like feeding Gizmo after midnight, it multiplies. Plus it makes you look like a bitch.


Tatiana comes back informs me she is going home and ask if I want a ride to my truck. On the way there she starts in on my ass.
T: I'm so hurt that you chose to stay. That you chose Jakie and her friends over me.
Me: Silence......I'm thinking I'm too drunk to deal with this.
T: Blah Blah...You never put me first.
Me: Silence....Thinking I really would like to know "You never put me first" really means.
T: Blah Blah...Bitch Bitch....Issues me some ultimatum about being with her.
Me: Silence...Weighing options and deciding that if she is going to break up with me for her ass getting pissed off then as they say "Lets get ready to rumble", because I don't care about the outcome.

T: Blah Blah something about not wanting to argue. I wish my memory was better, I was paying more attention to getting another beer.

Me: So let me get this straigt. You don't want to argue?
T: Yes
Me: We agree that Jackie is a bitch.
T: Yes
Me: We agree that she isn't worth talking about much less arguing about.
T: Yes
Me: The hell are we arguing for?

After going through this round of questioning three times I give up and decide if you want to argue and act stupid so can I. This starts with me jumping up and down in the drive way as I argue with her. I use every action to mock her during the argument all while continuing argue with her. It was true dual communication my words were the argument above while everyone of my actions were a representation as how stupid this whole argument was. The funny part was she was missing all of this, I could have flopped down and kicked and screamed and threw a huge temper tantrum and she would have missed it.

Moral of the story: Never Let the Bitches Win.


Words of Wisdom: Setting the rules of the game can only be done by you. You decide what is winning and loosing and what will get under your skin and what will be ignored. Therefore when dealing with the Jackies or Tatiana's in life don't become instaly irrated from their presence alone, thus allowing the bitch to win. Instead when they say that snooty comment, reply back with a true complement and leave the room. Love kills bitcheness every time along with conveying the message that you are in-control of your emotions and surroundings.


-Mr. WAM

Home Remedies

Home remedies
You’ll be amazed at how simple these home remedies are.
* Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
* Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat — use the sink.
* For high-bloodpressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
* A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
* If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You won’t dare cough.
* You only need two tools in life — WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
* If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.


Found at : www.machinedesign.com

Fun in the Store

I was sitting out side of the fitting room, doing what every guy does.

That's right wait for eternity for his woman to try on 300 outfits only to purchase
a pair of undies.

I'm on my phone abusing the free wifi in the store to help kill the time.

A woman approaches, walks past me, and looks back to ask "Are you in line?"

I lost internet connection as she approached so I replied "Well I was."

The look on her face was Priceless!


*sometimes being hard of hearing makes for an interesting day*

The Flip

People help me flush out an idea.

Recently, I was talking about "The Flip" where a guy would say one thing and the woman would flip it and take the negative way.
Now, I have had this rattling around in my head for a while. Then last night it hit me it all has to do with self image. Let me try and explain this.

"The Flip" is a lady replying how they FEEL, not what was HEARD (reread that until you understand it) .

We have to remember that women are emotional creatures.


So now "The Flip" makes a lot of sense it's an emotional response.

So you are asking how does this tie into self image, well that's easy.

Example time. Say for example some guy shot Hitler and was praised a Hero. Internally he could not accept the praise because he felt that he was a murderer for taking a life.
He could not see how many lives he saved, he could only focus on how bad he was because he killed. Therefore in his head he would turn the praise into the people making fun of him.

I guess what I am trying to say is because she has a bad self image (or too much negative self talk) she cannot accept the comment in the positive light. She has to break it down to a level that she feels is worthy of her belief system.

To put it in a guys perspective, it's just like seeing a mess of hot chicks and telling yourself they are out of your league.


Statement: You look Nice Today......

Reply: You think I'm FAT.



She replied that way because she was FEELING fat which dictated her reply.

I think we could write a book on this simple communication breakdown.
Women reply with their feelings and us guys try to argue our point on what was meant.

The best thing to do is just to reply back to them what they just said (I'm sorry that you are feeling fat today but you really look good in that shirt).

Yes no way off?

I found this post which gave me hope that all women are not insane.
http://herestohappywomen.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_archive.html
scroll down to the April 21st 2006 entry titled 'Do these pants make me look fat?".

Mr. WAM

The Dreaded Padded Seat

I must ask why do all women feel this unnerving need to buy and use padded toilets seats?

Are you planning on camping out there?

Trying to avoid a chafing your ass?

Have and abnormal obsession with foam covered vinyl?

For any guy that has ever had the wonderful experience of using on of these I present:

Why plastic padded toilet seats suck

#1. They are just uncomfortable give me hard plastic over vinyl any day

#2. They make your ass sweat

#3. They stay warmer longer after use (nothing worse than a warm toilets seat)

#4. The crack is always right there trying to gobble your shobble (which always makes you think how many other shobbles have been gobbled here where your shobble is currently being gobbled..say that three times fast)

#5. Feels smaller, Its like I am trying to crap through a washer, a 5/16 washer.

#6. With one of these you can't take a relaxing piss. Why you ask, because these things are worse than an attack dog the moment you let your guard down, it pounces, and falls closed. If you were lucky its only the seat and not the lid.
Needing a visual?
Imagine a cow peeing on a flat rock.



Oh one last though, that blast of cold air you feel every time you set down on it was sucked in when the last person stood up.


-Mr.WAM

-Thanks to M&J

This is Pure Genius

Welcome to my site,


First let me say I'm Pissed.

I'm Pissed as to how women act today, they have such a sense of entitlement it isn't even funny. They expect to be catered to, and just by being in their presence is enough to warrant you to conform to their demands. Please.

Also, I'm also superbly annoyed with all the guys (present company included) that go along with this and actually feed the cycle. They can not tell the woman NO. That word just simply does not exist in their vocabulary.


On this Blog, I'm planning to cover a wide variety of topics here, but they can generally be lumped under dealing with women. We will jump from everyone's favorite topics like the games women play, why they have such a chip on their shoulder, along with my thoughts and opinions that I hope will encourage you to think.

Not to mention this gives me a place to vent.....and vent I will.

So guys or ladies, if you have any stories where you wanted to just drop kick that Ignorant Bitch in the head send them in. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and I'll post them.
(I do not condone physical abuse of women, but taping their picture to skeet, punching bags, and rear view mirrors are all acceptable.)



Most important thing to remember is this is cheaper than anger management.

Mr. WAM